N O R V I C H O CK C H I C P E R F U M E

   

                                                                         

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY.

F R O M         P O R T ON        D O W N        W I T H         L O V E 

N O R V I     C H O C K                                      C H I C                     P E R F U M E 

' Did you hear the one  about this guy who  was walking in the park one day?'

There had been a lull in the conversation between the two friends.There often was, but , because they had known each other so long, such silences didn't make them feel uneasy. It was in the normal flow of how things were with them.

They were sitting in their local , The Stag, as they did,and had done for years, every Thursday night ,as a welcome escape from their wives and children.A few hours of mindless natter away from the mundane worries of everyday life.And the beers, ( real ale ) , of course, made them feel even better.

Dave took a slug of his beer.

' No, I hope this one is funny though .'

His friend, Jeff smiled, ' Of course it is. Mine always are; if you have enough of this ale they are.''

' Maybe I  haven't had enough yet, but please go right ahead.'

Dave's third pint had put him in a mellow mood, as real ale tends to do.

They both looked round the village pub, as if they were worried other people might hear the joke.

It was pretty empty for a Thursday night. Perhaps there was a match on T.V. they wondered,

Thank God this place didn't have a tele. It was simply, an old fashioned village inn where the locals,

shop owners and farmers gave it  good custom.

' Well, this guy,' Jeff started, ' was going for a walk in a park you see , somewhere near Salisbury,He was, as far as I know, all alone..Suddenly he sees a bottle on the ground. Why this particular piece of rubbish caught his eye I have no idea, but it did.So, he picks it up'.

'Perhaps it  was a  full bottle of Gin or something ?'  Dave. suggested.

' No, no , it wasn't. He had no idea what was in it.'

 Jeff paused.' But , for some reason, he thought it might be perfume . whether it looked like a perfume bottle I don't know , because he never said, you see.'

 Dave had another swig  of his pint, and wondered where this joke was going.

' Bit strange to pick up someone's discarded bottle, that , most likely had been thrown away as rubbish,' he said.

' Absolutely, but things get stranger. He took it home with him,and decided to give it to his girlfriend

as a present '

Jeff lifted his pint to his lips and took a hearty draught..
' He did I suppose open the bottle  and sniff it', he said,.' you see he didn't know for sure what was in the bottle; it could have been anything.  It must have smelt very nice, which is beyond odd considering 

what it contained'.

Dave thought about the sort of presents women liked, and was a little confused, but he let the joke continue.

 Jeff stopped talking and ,once again, looked around the  pub; it had  filled up a bit with a crowd from 

the Madras Indian Restaurant down the road, who had obviously had a lot to drink., as they were all talking very loudly.

 He leaned forward and said  in almost a whisper,'You see, what it really was, was one of the most dangerous chemical weapons ever produced by man ever, and there it had been  in a bottle in a park.

To even touch such a bottle would , most likely , be fatal, let alone, walk around with it.', 

' What's so funny about that ? ,  Dave demanded. as he stood up to go to the toilet.

 His friend grinned. ' That ,' he said, ' is what the British Government is  telling the great unwashed public 

is how the Russians tried to kill the  Skirpals ;you know one of them was a double agent, and after that failed they left the bottle in a park.A bottle that no one could have touched without heavily protected gear'

They both roared with  laughter, causing the new arrivals.  from the Madras to look over.

Jeff, who was an avid reader commented,' You know that the British Secret Service once employed two great writers., Ian Fleming and John Le Carre I'm sure they could have come up with a better plot than this one.'

Mike Selley.        NOTE.  The above post is a work of fiction.All the characters mentioned in the post

are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

If the reader notices any resemblance to events in real life, this is purely the readers  interpretation, and not the author's intent.If any reader does see a connection with any news item , a careful check of this work of fiction would find that it differs considerably in one major fact if compared to what the reader considers a news item that bears a resemblance

The author expresses great sympathy for anyone who has allegedly suffered or died  because of contact with  an alleged nerve agent, and no disrespect is meant to anyone who has lost a loved one, but only his greatest condolences and prayers are offered.