Oh dear,it's even worse than I thought.The following items of news were on the internet edition of The Daily Mail, yesterday, Tuesday 5.12.2012. For those who have been hiding underground in fear of impending doom, such as Nibiru crashing into the planet, who have popped up for a bit of air,a Prince and a Princess in a well scripted fairy tale, have announced to the World that the Princess is expecting a baby.
The newspapers have gone into a tailspin. It seems to have really made the Daily Mail's day, with the editor telling everyone to look at this from every possible angle, and every impossible angle.Just read the following which filled up more than half of the front page.Kate - that's the Princess, but they always call her Kate as that makes her more like one of us- is in hospital with severe morning sickness because of the pregnancy.
" A smile that says Kate is feeling better..William (that's the Prince) leaves hospital after 6 hours at bedside but R.A.F. duties may keep him away for months."
That is the headline.Under this though are a host of stories all relating, in one way or another to this bombshell news which is obviously how the D.M views this.The next item looks ahead.
"Queen Of The Yummy Mummies And Her Tiny Trendsetter." Well I guess the writer of this was proud of this headline. He or she goes on to say : " Kate's choice of prams, toys and name will set global trends."
Goodness me, the D.M is almost getting intellectual with the global trends bit.They quickly get back to the basics with the next riveting piece.
" My Tips For Kate: foot rub, mash,( potatoes, I suppose ) but keep of the Cranberries."
This is followed by an oh so serious piece with the headline : "So How Will They Decide On The Heir If She Does Have Twins? "
The possibility of her having twins is, by the way, pretty remote, but any angle must be looked at.
They then moved on to the Prince's ego in this fairy tale, with the headline:" How Will William Cope Now Kate's Got A New Number 1 ?"
Then it's time for a quick kick at that old fuddy duddy, Charles: " Why Charles Should Stand Aside "
is the next gripping piece.
The Daily Mail then assures us not to worry about the Princess because she is in very capable hands, with the headline:" The Royal Doctor's At Her Bedside".
Then the final one, to make sure people relate to this wonderful fairy tale:" Where Will The Young Cambridge Family Live ?".
In the eyes of the Daily Mail, the fact that a woman got pregnant is far more important than anything else that is going on in the World.
Who cares that the Heriot-Watt University has just released a report that says young people and families with children are increasingly facing homelessness, and that a rising number of people are finding themselves without a roof over their heads.
The report goes on to say:"Deepening benefit cuts are likely to have a much more dramatic impact on homelessness."
The national rough sleep numbers (in the U.K) rose 23% in the year to Autumn 2011, from 1,768 to 2,181.
The number of families who asked for assistance from authorities, because they were about to lose their homes rose from 40,020 in 2009/10 to 50,000 in 2011/12.From The Guardian.
Daily Mail readers don't want this. It's far more important for us to know where the handsome Prince and the beautiful Princess will live.
Another bit of news that probably had a huge impact on thousands of people was the following:
Stanstead Airport Closed For Nearly Three Hours This Morning. Snow staged an ambush on parts of Eastern and Southern England. The snow also hit overground and tube commuter services in London and roads in many areas were iced and dangerous.From The Guardian.
Kate is far more important than the common riff-raff riff. Talking of transport, I wonder what sort of pram the baby will have.
How about what our brave soldiers are doing in Afghanistan by keeping Britain terror free, while making sure the opium trade keeps thriving.
The Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has been asked to launch an urgent enquiry into claims that British forces deliberately targeted four boys at close range and killed them. The boys were aged 12,14,16 and 18.
Or an amazing slice of truth from Britain's most senior military officer- who commanded Nato forces at the time of the British surge to Helmand in 2006. He said the following, according to The Guardian," Western leaders had collectively failed by wasting the opportunity won by years of costly military operation.All the military can do is buy space and time and opportunity for a political solution to the problem."
In the meantime, countless soldiers, often only in their teens are dying, as well as far too many innocent men, women and children.
This is too depressing.Let's get back to the fairy tale. I wonder what sort of toys the little bundle of joy will get. Toy guns, of course, as Royalty, whether male or female, absolutely adore shooting and killing innocent little and big animals.Last Christmas the smiling Princess spent Boxing Day on a killing spree of wild animals, or was it birds? On second thoughts, maybe real guns will be the toys. Prince Andrew introduced his daughter to the Royal family's favourite pastime. when she was just six years old.
Another bit of news that was far less important than the love affair of the century was the following:
"U.S.plans to keep 10,000 troops in Afghanistan after 2014". The Guardian.
No one is interested. What we want to know is, exactly who will give Kate a foot rub ?I wonder if it will be good old William.Who knows he might have a foot fetish. His uncle Andy's ex- wife Fergie certainly appeared to like her toes been sucked,but probably didn't like the photos that were splashed all over the papers showing her smoking something very strange, while the toe-sucking took place.It's odd that the Royal family have nothing to do with her now.I wonder why.
The other major concern we all now must have is what will they call the baby ?Will it be, Edward, James, Charles, George, John, Elizabeth, Mary, Francis or Victoria ? The bookmakers think it will be Francis for some reason.
I've just spotted a new headline in the D.M.This is really exiting stuff:" Shortly You Will Be Able To Buy A Half-Pint Mug With Red And Blue Hearts On It " On this mug are the words; "A Royal Baby In 2013 ".
There is more:on the other side of the mug are these words,"Hooray For Will And Kate ".
Hooray, and it's only 5 pence short of 20 pound. You must, of course buy one. Soon every kitchen in the land will proudly display this mug, and if you don't have one, people will think that you are strange.
You can bet that there will be more.How about plates with the couple kissing, or mats with them holding hands. I don't know what will be written on them . Perhaps the Daily Mail reporters think up the lines for this merchandise. I am sure they approve of ' Hooray '.
What about this as a picture on a T-Shirt ? The Prince and the Princess stuffing their mouths full, eating a massive cake with the words The British Public written on the cake.On the back of the T-Shirt a picture showing the almost 3000 homeless in the U,K?
Wouldn't it be funny if the Royal baby is born on 6.6.2013 ?
The newspapers have gone into a tailspin. It seems to have really made the Daily Mail's day, with the editor telling everyone to look at this from every possible angle, and every impossible angle.Just read the following which filled up more than half of the front page.Kate - that's the Princess, but they always call her Kate as that makes her more like one of us- is in hospital with severe morning sickness because of the pregnancy.
" A smile that says Kate is feeling better..William (that's the Prince) leaves hospital after 6 hours at bedside but R.A.F. duties may keep him away for months."
That is the headline.Under this though are a host of stories all relating, in one way or another to this bombshell news which is obviously how the D.M views this.The next item looks ahead.
"Queen Of The Yummy Mummies And Her Tiny Trendsetter." Well I guess the writer of this was proud of this headline. He or she goes on to say : " Kate's choice of prams, toys and name will set global trends."
Goodness me, the D.M is almost getting intellectual with the global trends bit.They quickly get back to the basics with the next riveting piece.
" My Tips For Kate: foot rub, mash,( potatoes, I suppose ) but keep of the Cranberries."
This is followed by an oh so serious piece with the headline : "So How Will They Decide On The Heir If She Does Have Twins? "
The possibility of her having twins is, by the way, pretty remote, but any angle must be looked at.
They then moved on to the Prince's ego in this fairy tale, with the headline:" How Will William Cope Now Kate's Got A New Number 1 ?"
Then it's time for a quick kick at that old fuddy duddy, Charles: " Why Charles Should Stand Aside "
is the next gripping piece.
The Daily Mail then assures us not to worry about the Princess because she is in very capable hands, with the headline:" The Royal Doctor's At Her Bedside".
Then the final one, to make sure people relate to this wonderful fairy tale:" Where Will The Young Cambridge Family Live ?".
In the eyes of the Daily Mail, the fact that a woman got pregnant is far more important than anything else that is going on in the World.
Who cares that the Heriot-Watt University has just released a report that says young people and families with children are increasingly facing homelessness, and that a rising number of people are finding themselves without a roof over their heads.
The report goes on to say:"Deepening benefit cuts are likely to have a much more dramatic impact on homelessness."
The national rough sleep numbers (in the U.K) rose 23% in the year to Autumn 2011, from 1,768 to 2,181.
The number of families who asked for assistance from authorities, because they were about to lose their homes rose from 40,020 in 2009/10 to 50,000 in 2011/12.From The Guardian.
Daily Mail readers don't want this. It's far more important for us to know where the handsome Prince and the beautiful Princess will live.
Another bit of news that probably had a huge impact on thousands of people was the following:
Stanstead Airport Closed For Nearly Three Hours This Morning. Snow staged an ambush on parts of Eastern and Southern England. The snow also hit overground and tube commuter services in London and roads in many areas were iced and dangerous.From The Guardian.
Kate is far more important than the common riff-raff riff. Talking of transport, I wonder what sort of pram the baby will have.
How about what our brave soldiers are doing in Afghanistan by keeping Britain terror free, while making sure the opium trade keeps thriving.
The Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has been asked to launch an urgent enquiry into claims that British forces deliberately targeted four boys at close range and killed them. The boys were aged 12,14,16 and 18.
Or an amazing slice of truth from Britain's most senior military officer- who commanded Nato forces at the time of the British surge to Helmand in 2006. He said the following, according to The Guardian," Western leaders had collectively failed by wasting the opportunity won by years of costly military operation.All the military can do is buy space and time and opportunity for a political solution to the problem."
In the meantime, countless soldiers, often only in their teens are dying, as well as far too many innocent men, women and children.
This is too depressing.Let's get back to the fairy tale. I wonder what sort of toys the little bundle of joy will get. Toy guns, of course, as Royalty, whether male or female, absolutely adore shooting and killing innocent little and big animals.Last Christmas the smiling Princess spent Boxing Day on a killing spree of wild animals, or was it birds? On second thoughts, maybe real guns will be the toys. Prince Andrew introduced his daughter to the Royal family's favourite pastime. when she was just six years old.
Another bit of news that was far less important than the love affair of the century was the following:
"U.S.plans to keep 10,000 troops in Afghanistan after 2014". The Guardian.
No one is interested. What we want to know is, exactly who will give Kate a foot rub ?I wonder if it will be good old William.Who knows he might have a foot fetish. His uncle Andy's ex- wife Fergie certainly appeared to like her toes been sucked,but probably didn't like the photos that were splashed all over the papers showing her smoking something very strange, while the toe-sucking took place.It's odd that the Royal family have nothing to do with her now.I wonder why.
The other major concern we all now must have is what will they call the baby ?Will it be, Edward, James, Charles, George, John, Elizabeth, Mary, Francis or Victoria ? The bookmakers think it will be Francis for some reason.
I've just spotted a new headline in the D.M.This is really exiting stuff:" Shortly You Will Be Able To Buy A Half-Pint Mug With Red And Blue Hearts On It " On this mug are the words; "A Royal Baby In 2013 ".
There is more:on the other side of the mug are these words,"Hooray For Will And Kate ".
Hooray, and it's only 5 pence short of 20 pound. You must, of course buy one. Soon every kitchen in the land will proudly display this mug, and if you don't have one, people will think that you are strange.
You can bet that there will be more.How about plates with the couple kissing, or mats with them holding hands. I don't know what will be written on them . Perhaps the Daily Mail reporters think up the lines for this merchandise. I am sure they approve of ' Hooray '.
What about this as a picture on a T-Shirt ? The Prince and the Princess stuffing their mouths full, eating a massive cake with the words The British Public written on the cake.On the back of the T-Shirt a picture showing the almost 3000 homeless in the U,K?
Wouldn't it be funny if the Royal baby is born on 6.6.2013 ?
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