The Ego Trip-Wire.
One aspect of attempting to not let the ego dominate your life and of living in the now, is that an unfortunate obstacle usually presents itself shortly after you have started. Like today. At about 5 in the afternoon, when the temperature had dropped below about 40 degrees I popped out to buy some fruit, and was walking home along a narrow lane in the town of Aegina, in Greece. I was trying to get myself, or rather, trying just to be in the now, with no thought of self, in the absolute present. Suddenly, I was there , in that wondrous place, with no thought of ego: what a feeling of wonder; what a wonder of feeling; awareness, and nothing else. An awareness of my surroundings so intense that it was so real , and yet so dreamlike. It is so hard to describe . I was so aware of everything, with absolutely no attachment. I felt I was perceiving a truly magical world.
And then a massive lorry came roaring towards me. A lorry out of hell to ruin my heaven. The lane was so narrow and it was coming straight towards me.
I was in panic mode . I had nowhere to go. I threw myself against a wall, convinced that the huge mirror by the driver's window would cut right through my chest and heart. My ego was back in control. It was like it was saying, ' how dare you leave me, see, I can bring you back any time I want.'
Then , for the rest of my walk home that old ego was back in control.
I believe it is the ego that sets the trip-wire. The ego conjured up that darned lorry, because it was scared of dying.
The ego has to believe in itself although it knows it is really a fiction It is because it knows it's a lie, it will do anything it can to keep you believing in it. It will try every trick in the book to keep you from knowing its true identity. It is as cunning as a serpent. It's true identity is that is has no true identity!
This is why when your awareness shifts from the narrow confines of a belief in a little you, the ego will start to show itself in a desperate bid to keep you locked in its prison.
When you feel you are advancing in your spiritual (for want of a better word) life, it is then the ego will show itself in all its fake glory.
What usually happens is the following:
You have been watching, listening and observing yourself as a spectator.You feel, at long last, you are actually progressing and feel a major change is taking place inside you.
It is then that it happens.
A drama suddenly appears in your life. It could be anything; a massive bill may arrive that will upset you; you may have an awful row with the one closest to you; you may lose something , anything from a key to your job; something goes wrong in your life.
Remember that you create your 'reality', and this is just what your ego is doing. It is creating a drama so you believe in its 'reality', and by doing this we forget all about living the ego-less life and living in the now.
You are thrown right back to where you were before you started trying to wake up from your fevered dream.
You might be lucky and not get knocked out flat by the drama. If so it is great news because it means that your ego is no longer controlling you.
However, if,when the drama -which is made up by your ego- appears, you start feeling those old familiar feelings you know so well , as anxiety ,worry and fear, what can you do?
There is only one thing to do.
Firstly remind yourself that this is only a dream, or as Einstein said "a persistent illusion".
Refuse to play in this dream drama
Get back in your non-ego mood at once.
You know that the old way of living does not work , so why bother trying to live like that?
You know how great it is to live in the now without an ego , so return to that state without delay.
When you do this, the drama will still be there, but it will no longer be potent. Now you are observing how you react to the drama, and surprisingly, you may find it amusing as you observe your thoughts and feelings. You may well start laughing at the absurdity of your thoughts, whereas before you took them dead seriously.
No feelings of dread or fear here!
The other strange aspect of this is, that once you are not playing in the drama, but observing it, you may well suddenly find a brilliant, simple solution to the problem, or the drama may just go away.
It goes away because you are not feeding it, giving it energy by dwelling on it. Without seeds weeds cannot grow.
So, if you get caught in that nasty ego-trip wire, you know what to do.
For more information on this you are invited to read my book, for free, on this blog; How To Wake Up From Your Fevered Dream; chapters are uploaded on a a regular basis
.
I believe it is the ego that sets the trip-wire. The ego conjured up that darned lorry, because it was scared of dying.
The ego has to believe in itself although it knows it is really a fiction It is because it knows it's a lie, it will do anything it can to keep you believing in it. It will try every trick in the book to keep you from knowing its true identity. It is as cunning as a serpent. It's true identity is that is has no true identity!
This is why when your awareness shifts from the narrow confines of a belief in a little you, the ego will start to show itself in a desperate bid to keep you locked in its prison.
When you feel you are advancing in your spiritual (for want of a better word) life, it is then the ego will show itself in all its fake glory.
What usually happens is the following:
You have been watching, listening and observing yourself as a spectator.You feel, at long last, you are actually progressing and feel a major change is taking place inside you.
It is then that it happens.
A drama suddenly appears in your life. It could be anything; a massive bill may arrive that will upset you; you may have an awful row with the one closest to you; you may lose something , anything from a key to your job; something goes wrong in your life.
Remember that you create your 'reality', and this is just what your ego is doing. It is creating a drama so you believe in its 'reality', and by doing this we forget all about living the ego-less life and living in the now.
You are thrown right back to where you were before you started trying to wake up from your fevered dream.
You might be lucky and not get knocked out flat by the drama. If so it is great news because it means that your ego is no longer controlling you.
However, if,when the drama -which is made up by your ego- appears, you start feeling those old familiar feelings you know so well , as anxiety ,worry and fear, what can you do?
There is only one thing to do.
Firstly remind yourself that this is only a dream, or as Einstein said "a persistent illusion".
Refuse to play in this dream drama
Get back in your non-ego mood at once.
You know that the old way of living does not work , so why bother trying to live like that?
You know how great it is to live in the now without an ego , so return to that state without delay.
When you do this, the drama will still be there, but it will no longer be potent. Now you are observing how you react to the drama, and surprisingly, you may find it amusing as you observe your thoughts and feelings. You may well start laughing at the absurdity of your thoughts, whereas before you took them dead seriously.
No feelings of dread or fear here!
The other strange aspect of this is, that once you are not playing in the drama, but observing it, you may well suddenly find a brilliant, simple solution to the problem, or the drama may just go away.
It goes away because you are not feeding it, giving it energy by dwelling on it. Without seeds weeds cannot grow.
So, if you get caught in that nasty ego-trip wire, you know what to do.
For more information on this you are invited to read my book, for free, on this blog; How To Wake Up From Your Fevered Dream; chapters are uploaded on a a regular basis
.
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