Adventures With Amaveed ( 5)

Adventures With Amaveed ( 5 )

 

Amaveed saw her briefly one May morning, when he was walking along worried about his future. She caught his  eye, and in that moment his whole world lit up. His concerns about his future vanished into the morning mist.

She had that certain 'something'; he didn't know what it was, but he wanted it. And it wasn't only sex.

Would he ever see her again ? Maybe not, he thought. Life can be like that sometimes; offering you a piece of magic and then snatching it away, before you can get your hands on it.

He thought of her throughout the day. He'd do his routine tasks, and suddenly her face would jump into his
consciousness. He felt he had a strong connection with her. A previous life  possibly ?

A week later Amaveed was in a forest. He was going for a walk feeling, as he always felt, slightly confused by life.

Suddenly, she was there. She was running towards him - picture perfect. The sound of her boots on the forest floor echoed  against  the trees, making the birds squawk and leave the branches they had been resting on,and circle over the trees.

" Hey," she called out to Amaveed in a voice soft, husky and sweet."Have you seen my dog ? She ran in here chasing a rabbit, and I can't find her."

Amaveed was so delighted to see her, he couldn't stop himself from smiling. This was a big mistake, he quickly realized, as she thought he was laughing at her.

"This is not funny, "she said, " please help me find her "

Amaveed stopped his inane smile, and put a serious expression on his face.

" What's your dog's name ?," he asked

They found Sophia the dog , who looked rather crestfallen as she hadn't caught the rabbit, and Amaveed  fell in love.

No raised voices, no anxious moments, just laughter and togetherness every day and night. Making love in a thousand ways, making up daydreams together, sharing memories from their childhood. The honey from that moon dripped all over them as it poured forth from endless, starlight, blue skies.

They had, so they thought , found the perfect love.

Then after a few years the honey was no longer sweet; it turned bitter, then sour. The magic mirror started to crack. She no longer had that 'something' and Amaveed no longer had that ' something '. The lips that once said such beautiful loving words were now throwing out obscenities, swear words, words of hate, not love.

 The love affair was over. They parted, like ten million  or more , had done before.  It was over.

The hurt followed as darkness follows the sunset. A deep cut of a hurt that felt like jagged glass cutting through every moment of  every day. A backdrop to Amaveed's life was this sadness, never really going away.

A few weeks later, Amaveed was climbing a big oak tree, when he missed his footing and fell off. As he was near the top of the tree, he felt naked fear as he fell, with the branches rushing past him, as he desperately tried to grab one, but could not. He didn't have time to think, but he felt that he was going to die.

As luck would have it, there was a  massive bush that saved his fall. He fell on it, and it felt just like a soft bed.

He got up, a new person. He was so grateful to be alive; he realized how absolutely wonderful life was, and that all he had been doing for weeks was feeling sorry for himself.

He roared with laughter. What a fool he had been.  His ego had been hurt, not his real self. He laughed again.

He then started to realize that millions of people go through the love game and end up , thinking they have a broken heart, when they really have a badly bruised ego. It didn't make sense.  It was always heaven at the start, and then hell at the end.

Then he got it in a blinding flash.

We fall in love because we believe the other person will make us whole, make us complete. For a while he or she does, but later he or she changes and no longer make you feel complete, but in fact the very opposite. When they are not answering your ego's wants, but, in fact, attacking your ego, love dies.

Amaveed then knew that no other person could make him complete, only he could do this.

If two people meet who are complete and in harmony with themselves that would produce a 'real'love.  Most people, Amaveed realized were hoping the other person would solve their neurotic life, and that is why they fall in love. The other person can't solve anyone else's problems, as they have their own neurosis to deal with,and  they were hoping their partner would solve theirs ! So two nuts together, who, in time, will end up nuttier than when they met !

Amaveed decided that he must be complete.  He didn't quite know what that meant, but he knew that he didn't feel 'whole'. Something was missing.

When he found true harmony in himself, then he would be ready to fall in love, if he wanted to.

He walked out the forest smiling.