Satire.
The Troika has now told the three wise men in Athens that they must, if they want more and more money, implement the following austerity measures.
1. The B.E.T. or brown eyed tax.Anyone with brown eyes will have to pay this when they pay their water bills.It will be 13% of whatever the water bill is.People with blue eyes will have to pay23%. Blind people will have to pay 12%.
The wise man of the Pasok party wanted this to only be 12.5%, but he was voted down.
2.The S.S.T or the special spaghetti tax.Every packet of spaghetti will have the S.S.T included in the price.It will be 80% of the original price.
The wise man of Pasok wanted this to be 79%, but he was voted down.
3.The F.I.T or fatal illness tax.. Everyone who has a fatal illness that will probably kill them will have to pay this tax.When they get their prescription drug from the chemist this will be included in the bill. They will be charged an extra 90% of the cost of the medicine.
The wise man of Pasok wanted this to be 89%, but he was voted down.
4.Anyone going to study abroad will have to pay a S.D.T or student departing tax. This will be paid at the point of departure, the airport, and will be 59% of the price of the ticket.
The wise man of the Pasok party wanted this to be 58.50%, but was voted down.
5.The W.T. or weight tax. A new Ministry Of weights and Measures will be set up, whose job will be to send inspectors to every household in Greece once a year.Every member of the household will be weighed, and anyone over the weight of 50 kilos, will have to pay an extra10 euros for every kilo above this.
The wise man of Pasok voted against this. However, after the other two wise men reminded him that none of these laws would be inflicted on M.Ps or their families or relatives, he agreed to it.
6.Anyone who sits in a cafe for longer than 20 minutes will have to pay a S.C.T or special cafe tax.This will be 20% of whatever they purchased.It was rumoured that the wise men got excited over this when they thought of German and particularly British tourists who would probably not know about this rule.
The wise one from Pasok wanted this to be 21.50 minutes, but was voted down.
7.Negotitations which had been reported as excellent though suddenly broke down .The Troika were seen hastily ejected from the Maximos Mansion with angy looks on their faces.
Rumours have it that the Troika suddenly demanded that all M.Ps take a 2% reduction in their salaries.At this point, it is alleged that the three wise men fainted. One of the Troika members pulled some change from his pocket, which was about 6000 euros, and put it under their noses. They then all came round.
The wise one from Pasok screamed at them," Go to Hell, get out!". The other two joined in.
An unnamed source claims that he heard the three muttering:" No more free Ouzo, Metaxa, Greek Honey and all those sundry other pleasures that should never be mentioned."
Another insider claimed that the previous I.M.F. guy. Strauss- Khan had cost them a fortune because of his insatiable appetite for........
The Troika has now told the three wise men in Athens that they must, if they want more and more money, implement the following austerity measures.
1. The B.E.T. or brown eyed tax.Anyone with brown eyes will have to pay this when they pay their water bills.It will be 13% of whatever the water bill is.People with blue eyes will have to pay23%. Blind people will have to pay 12%.
The wise man of the Pasok party wanted this to only be 12.5%, but he was voted down.
2.The S.S.T or the special spaghetti tax.Every packet of spaghetti will have the S.S.T included in the price.It will be 80% of the original price.
The wise man of Pasok wanted this to be 79%, but he was voted down.
3.The F.I.T or fatal illness tax.. Everyone who has a fatal illness that will probably kill them will have to pay this tax.When they get their prescription drug from the chemist this will be included in the bill. They will be charged an extra 90% of the cost of the medicine.
The wise man of Pasok wanted this to be 89%, but he was voted down.
4.Anyone going to study abroad will have to pay a S.D.T or student departing tax. This will be paid at the point of departure, the airport, and will be 59% of the price of the ticket.
The wise man of the Pasok party wanted this to be 58.50%, but was voted down.
5.The W.T. or weight tax. A new Ministry Of weights and Measures will be set up, whose job will be to send inspectors to every household in Greece once a year.Every member of the household will be weighed, and anyone over the weight of 50 kilos, will have to pay an extra10 euros for every kilo above this.
The wise man of Pasok voted against this. However, after the other two wise men reminded him that none of these laws would be inflicted on M.Ps or their families or relatives, he agreed to it.
6.Anyone who sits in a cafe for longer than 20 minutes will have to pay a S.C.T or special cafe tax.This will be 20% of whatever they purchased.It was rumoured that the wise men got excited over this when they thought of German and particularly British tourists who would probably not know about this rule.
The wise one from Pasok wanted this to be 21.50 minutes, but was voted down.
7.Negotitations which had been reported as excellent though suddenly broke down .The Troika were seen hastily ejected from the Maximos Mansion with angy looks on their faces.
Rumours have it that the Troika suddenly demanded that all M.Ps take a 2% reduction in their salaries.At this point, it is alleged that the three wise men fainted. One of the Troika members pulled some change from his pocket, which was about 6000 euros, and put it under their noses. They then all came round.
The wise one from Pasok screamed at them," Go to Hell, get out!". The other two joined in.
An unnamed source claims that he heard the three muttering:" No more free Ouzo, Metaxa, Greek Honey and all those sundry other pleasures that should never be mentioned."
Another insider claimed that the previous I.M.F. guy. Strauss- Khan had cost them a fortune because of his insatiable appetite for........
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