Thursday, May 16, 2013

The B .Story.




THE B….. STORY

A big fat bee from the I.H.F( International Honey Fraudsters) came to the bee hive.He noticed that all the bees looked depressed;their wings were droopy and hung loosely.No bee was humming.

“So,”he said to the Queen Bee,”your honey has all gone”


“Yes,”replied the Queen Bee,”you should know,you stole it from us’
The big fat bee hummed for a minute,then softly said,”Yes,that’s what we do,we always steal from you,but every few years we have a stealing bonanza.”
“What can we do?”cried Queen Bee, flapping her wings in agitation.

The fat bee paced up and down;finally he stopped and faced the other.
“It is obvious,” he said,” you tell the worker bees that every hive has this problem and that all the bees.’ must pull together in this time of crises.If they do that,in a few years things will be fine.They won’t of course,but they will believe you;they are used to being lied to.”

Queen bee considered this;”And how do they pull together?”She asked

Fat Bee put on his sternest look.”To make them pull together, you have to frighten them,so you turn them docile and dumb-more docile and dumb than they are already I mean.Then they will do anything you want.They are very simple you know,not like me or even you.”

“And how do I frighten them?”

  “Many things frighten them;for a start they now have the fear that they will no longer work,that the patterns that they are used to will change;they will be scared of that.”


Queen Bee looked at the miserable specimens all around her.


“Any other ways?” she asked,knowing that there would be. The other hummed a soft laugh.”Yes,”He said,”We have found it very effective to frighten them with things like,Flower Petal Warming(and tell them this is caused by them, to throw in the guilt),exploding suicide grasshoppers,gangs of flies who roam and attack or kill,young bees being hooked on tree sap,and drunken bees turning violent on morning dew.Emphasis also the dangers of catching Cockroach Fever,Wax Wings Droop,and,of course,that special one we created, A.C.F.I.D.( acquired Croaking Frog Immune Deficiency.)


Queen Bee looked interested,”And Mad Mosquito Malady,Turtle Trots,and Languishing Lizard Lunacy”. 


“Don’t forget the dangers of hidden spider webs,and sudden hose squirting syndrome.It’s always good to remind them of their normal every day fears.Then take their rights away from them,and tell them that they have got to work oh so hard to get more honey,so all the honey can be given to me and my friends”.

The Queen Bee suddenly looked worried.”Won’t they say,but you stole the honey in the first place,and now we have to replace it so you can steal it again,and that doesn’t seem right?” 


Big Fat Bee laughed,”Of course they will.So what?Let them go on strike and go on marches and demonstrate.Just don’t take any notice of them.Just say over and over that this is the only way so tough luck” 


“That’s all very well,”The Queen Bee said in her most pompous tone,”But the most important thing is will I be alright,what about me?”

Big fat bee smiled smugly and tapped his wing on the Queen’s cuticle. 

 


“Of course you will.You are one of our puppets.As long as you do everything we say you will prosper.If you don’t,of course, you will die, mysteriously.”


 The Queen Bee sighed with relief.”Oh, that’s alright then,”She said,”I’ll isssue instructions,make laws at once.Well, after you and I have a great feast with lots of honeycomb champers and pollen head bangers”


By Mike Selley.

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